Men

Damn Freakin Z and his good advice. Damn him. I trust this man on wine,,he knows his wine that's for sure. I trust him on clothes,,seems to know those too. I even trust him occasionally with my hair. I mean he IS the one that convinced me to just let it be curly and quit fighting it and trying to beat it into submission and that one little piece of advice has saved me hours every day,,but DAMN Z for his advice on men. He's a man,,sort of,,you'd think he would know something about them. Wouldn't you? I mean he does sleep with them and he does share bathroom space with them and he does work with them and hell he was even born one but does he know even one little thing about how a straight mans mind works? NOPE. Not even one teeny little thing. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. A life lesson I suppose. I'm so confused. Robert. He has a psycho wife/exwife. Psycho. Completely totally crassly verbosely absolutely insane psycho wife. He left months and months ago. Moved out. Prior to that he had occupied one end of the house and she the other. He hasn't considered himself married in three years. She's hangin on though. Did I mention she's a complete psych case? Psycho with access to a phone and my number tattooed on her hand apparently. She calls and calls and calls. Leaves messages on my voice mail that would make a sailor blush. Calls me at work. Calls during the middle of the night. I'm walkin away while I still have some sanity and my pride and no prison record. I'll eventually end up killin this woman if I stick around. My girls would do it for me but they have a problem with her truly being crazy. I think it's an act. An attention getting behavior. Matters not. I'm outta this one. Maybe I'll get to sleep through a night without a crazed phone call. Maybe she'll forget my name. Maybe I'll win the lottery and move to Tahiti. Damn Z. Damn him. Not really. He's too cute to be mad at for long,,but jesusmaryandjoseph why did I listen to him?
Weird dreams during my nap today. Weird. Freud would have a field day. Big giant ginormous hugemongous snake in the basement. Gaunt emaciated Mike trying to help me kill the thing. Running from the snake,,hiding from the snake,,contemplating sex during the run,,Mike too sick to do the deed. Like I said. Weird. No more naps during OU football games. They're lethal.
Did I mention Z sucks with the male advice thing? Did I mention I love him anyway? Did I mention Roberts whatever she is is making me crazy? Tahiti is sounding better and better. It's warm. There is sun. There is no list. Ok so I'm making that part up. I'm probably on the fuckable list there too. Sigh.